Have you ever faced a situation where you have said a “Hi” or say “hello, how are you?” even when you really don’t have time for the response. May it be face to face or on social networking sites, sms, or on the latest messenger bbm. :) Well, frankly speaking I have faced a similar situation, but a contradictory one.
I can relate the concept of Social Contracts here. I had read it somewhere, that Social Contracts are something that makes you say “Hi” or say “fine” even when you really aren’t fine.
But do you really care? Care about the other persons feelings?
I understand that Social Contracts keep the mood light and counterfeit. Well it is a socially acceptable lying. Rather let us say, it is a socially encouraged lying. It just crafts a feeling that you have contrived an interest in someone else's life, and they also did the same right back to you. Does that mean everything is really fine?
Regardless of how the world is outside, the best thing is that you are all safe and sound, and warm in your cozy little shell.
I am sure; I won't stop participating in the so called “Social Contract”. And for my friends, when I ask them “how are you, it is because I really… really care and really do want to know...
This is altogether a different world that I like to stay in. I just want to know whether your shell is leaking or leak proof. For me, Social Contracts are not a waste of time at all. It just bothers me sometimes because it always seems as though we’re lying to each other day … in and day … out.
I had plenty of time to sit and ponder the things around me. This was just one side of the story. The other side is that, I do wanna keep in touch with you and the whole world. But I’m afraid, of getting attached to you.
I recently got a BlackBerry phone, which is making my addiction to stay in touch stronger. For example, I have this urge to say a small “hi” to this special friend of mine. But I don’t know why!
I know it is very difficult to control addiction to keep in touch with the world and special friends. But I’m sure one day I will. Just need a little more time. :)
I can relate the concept of Social Contracts here. I had read it somewhere, that Social Contracts are something that makes you say “Hi” or say “fine” even when you really aren’t fine.
But do you really care? Care about the other persons feelings?
I understand that Social Contracts keep the mood light and counterfeit. Well it is a socially acceptable lying. Rather let us say, it is a socially encouraged lying. It just crafts a feeling that you have contrived an interest in someone else's life, and they also did the same right back to you. Does that mean everything is really fine?
Regardless of how the world is outside, the best thing is that you are all safe and sound, and warm in your cozy little shell.
I am sure; I won't stop participating in the so called “Social Contract”. And for my friends, when I ask them “how are you, it is because I really… really care and really do want to know...
This is altogether a different world that I like to stay in. I just want to know whether your shell is leaking or leak proof. For me, Social Contracts are not a waste of time at all. It just bothers me sometimes because it always seems as though we’re lying to each other day … in and day … out.
I had plenty of time to sit and ponder the things around me. This was just one side of the story. The other side is that, I do wanna keep in touch with you and the whole world. But I’m afraid, of getting attached to you.
I recently got a BlackBerry phone, which is making my addiction to stay in touch stronger. For example, I have this urge to say a small “hi” to this special friend of mine. But I don’t know why!
I know it is very difficult to control addiction to keep in touch with the world and special friends. But I’m sure one day I will. Just need a little more time. :)
Social Contracts... Liked the line... I too always feel that the other person is just asking How r u? for formality.... But in true sense he/she is not bothered of actually how we are... They just want to know what we are upto, what we r doing in our life etc etc etc...
ReplyDeletenice post..this process was well known to me,but never knew the technical term coined for it....anyways...this social contracting has been there in the western countries for ages now....slowly and steadily India is encompassing it too....is it a part of westernization???mayb...but i feel saying a polite hello or hi to strangers is just alrite
ReplyDeleteSometimes we need to be formal even if we dont want to be so. We are aligned to a fix routine and saying Hi and Hello comes natural when we meet people. That doesnt matter if he/she intends to say truely from within or just a formality. People dont have time to think and bother about others. We do what we feel and stop judging others, thinking about their intentions. I think thats the best way we should live our life.
ReplyDeletehii Rutuparna,
ReplyDeletehow are you?
howw's life?
hehehehe...
no pun...but yeah even i am more or less like you only...if i ask some1 how are you....i make sure i do not aks only for the heck of asking...i do mean it as well...
anyways, u keep well!!!
regards
rahul
also, if u look at it the other way....it just acts as a medium to start the conversation....
ReplyDeletefor eg: you cannot ask a person straight into his face....why is your eye soar...did you wife beat you last night mate???
instead 1 should ask, "hey how are you buddy? your eyes look soar. is something bothering you or is she again responsible for this!!!"
lol...sorry i just cant b serious!!!
:P
@Sumedh - You are partly correct i feel. its again about perspectives.
ReplyDeleteIt does matter if people wish truely from within or just a formality. We can't change people... but we can change outselves :)
@Rahul - Your "Hi" is appreciated :)
ReplyDeleteHi! :)
ReplyDelete